Saturday, November 27, 2010




black friday

i had the nicest time
dancing with a girl
through panic on the streets of london
and panic on the streets of birmingham
and panic at our nation's finest
retailers of electronics and expensive
things on sale.
hands hooked together, smiling,
we stepped and bobbed and
sang along,
apathetic to the media material madness
of the day.
on the stage, the man with the fade
and the coke-bottle glasses in front
of a table full of wires and cords
wagged his finger at the crowd,
singing along to his own death threat
hang the dj
hang the dj
hang the dj
and we danced through black friday
into no-one-cares-about-this saturday
and eventually left the sweaty
echo park bar and went home,
i would say, absolutely and utterly
content.



Monday, November 22, 2010

recollecting






december

i was much younger then, around
the time of my nineteenth birthday,
standing outside in december,

rain-wrapped limbs holding a cell phone
up to my drenched ear shrouded
by shaggy wet hair, a beard, and

scuba goggles on top of the
whole mess, (i just like the rain is
all.) talking about tea and the

times we agreed to talk - daily -
over the coming month and some
hours added to that. and i was

much younger then. she was hazel
and frail and we were both just a
little insane. leave it like it's

burning you and she did, come the
new year. january. a hollow
month. the next several were forced,

pained to wade through the days -
we did though, muddle our
way around until the
end. and no more rain came.

i was home then, working
out of doors with gloves on.
december, forever.





Friday, November 19, 2010

eh


not a latte

sometimes it bothers me
when i look around
and plastic people are
paying more for

their coffee drinks

than i can afford to
shell out for
one meal in
a given day.

best just to be
thankful though,
that i can at least

pay for a meal.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

nothing sacred


shiny tiles

i was at
an art school
walking down the
windowy halls on

shiny tiles

and there were
flyers posted all over
the walls and
some even on

the windows

and one of these
flyers, amid computers
for sale and
missing cell phones
and offers to score
your independent film,
read

(let me turn this
over one second)

"meditation

(once more)

mondays, 5:15 pm,

5 dollars"

now,
millions of people
have been practicing
the spiritual-or-pagan
discipline of

meditation

for thousands and
thousands of
weather bruised
years

absolutely and utterly
free
of charge

and i just don't
see what gives whoever
posted this pretentious
and profane
invitation to what
i'm sure would and will
amount to spiritual
abandonment and

enlightenment (for some)

of course

the divine-or-godless right

to charge the
ungodly sum of

five dollars

merely to take part in
this ancient
rite.

it confused me
for as much time

as it took

to tear it off
the wall and

write this poem
on the back of it.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

folk music

and i won't join the navy
to pay off my bills
and i won't be a marine
to kill or be killed

and i won't join the army
get shot, 'n go to heaven
and i won't fly in the air force
this isn't 1937.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

chapter three/two: rough draft

The Black Sea nestled itself between an old cannery and a vacant warehouse near the docks where all the buildings were brick and ancient. I walked in the rain and after four failed attempts to light a cigarette I was there.
I stepped inside and tried for a fifth time. I won.
The bald, brown-vested bartender across the small room gave me a couple of shifty eyes as I closed the door and the rest of the place followed suit. There couldn’t have been more than fifteen damp patrons split between the tables, bar stools, and dart board on the east wall – mostly dock workers and river rats with hints of feminine presence here and there.
“Scotch, if you’ve got it.” I told the mustached man behind the bar, walking over to it and reaching for my hat.
“We don’t.” the little man replied.
I put a smoke in my mouth and started flicking the brim of my hat to scare the water off.
“Well then, I’ll have a lemonade.” I said through lips pursed around a cigarette.
My fourteen blue-collar fans dropped eaves. I fished around in my coat pocket and pulled out a small, flat bottle of rye.
“Oh, nevermind,” I exhaled two lungfuls of Virginia ash and smiled. “I brought my own.”
The bartender put an empty glass on the table without saying a word, and with the same sullen expression that had been stamped on his thin face since I came in. Our audience all seemed to lose interest and returned to whatever it was they were in the middle of doing before I came and made such a spectacle by opening the door and doing absolutely nothing unusual.
I uncapped the bottle and poured an inch into the glass. My friend the bartender leaned against the counter opposite the bar and watched, slowly polishing a glass with a dirty towel that was at one point in time, white.
“I’m looking for Anton Dzubic.” I told him after a sip. His quiet little face and ears perked up. “He was a friend of Sergei Keric’s,” I continued, “who has recently taken something of a leave of absence.”
The little man moved closer to the bar and set the clean glass down in front of me. I sat down on a stool.
“You are an American, no?”
I nodded.
“Then what do you want with Anton Dzubic?”
I ground my spent cigarette into an ashtray and struck a match to start another.
“Well,” I paused and drew in, “I’m looking for Keric.” And with that, my small following of urchins and barrel rollers regained their interest in our conversation.
“Why?” he asked halfway under his breath.
“Because Nezir Keric asked me to.” I replied somewhat matter-of-factly.
With his elbows now on the bar, he sighed what I thought to be a sigh of understanding accompanied by what I thought was a brief nod of coherence.
“Anton Dzubic is my son. I am Lazlo Dzubic.”
I hit something, maybe not pay dirt and certainly not gold – but something.
“Well, I’d very much like to speak with your son, Mr. Dzubic.” I said, then emptied the glass.
“Come back in two hours. I will take you to him.”
It sounded reasonable.
“Alright.”
He reached under the bar and came up with a bottle, poured its contents into my glass and the newly polished one, for himself.
We drank.
It was scotch.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010




ever love a song
that reminds you of someone
you once loved? sorry.



Wednesday, April 28, 2010

it's gonna rain


it takes a long long time
to fill these cots
two or three minutes or so
anyone else would say that's not
but we've been here eight months by now

it's gonna rain (x's 4)

well we keep 'em coming
and going too
we bandage them up real good
stitches in their arms and legs
piles of limbs where you stood

it's gonna rain (x's 3)

i never thought that
hell would be so green
or damp and grey in the morning
but everyone says that the way back home
zipped into a bag is boring

it's gonna rain

Friday, April 9, 2010

before, after

before i heard
frank's wild years,
if i broke a vase,
i would throw it away.

after i heard
frank's wild years,
if i broke a vase,
i would fix it.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

on: other things

http://www.ericturetolzmaphone.tumblr.com

(one phone photo, old or new, every day)

http://www.etolzmann.tumblr.com

(new b/w photo only site)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

volume i. iii.ix.mmx

hard

to see sometimes with the feathers of wasted time fluttering in front of our silly faces and hard to hear with the deafening roar of misplaced efforts to get things we never wanted plugging our ears while we trod along in between the tracks on the ties headed right toward the light which might be four minutes or forty four years off in the rainy distance full of illness and debt, cancer and mortgages, false teachers and hounds from hell, car accidents and foreclosures - and sometimes it's comforting for someone to yell at us or with us while we walk in the direction of all these things that will or will not cut us right to the

core.

Monday, April 5, 2010

my hands

my hands are
cement

and the pen
is on

the shelf.

Friday, February 5, 2010







he'll make music beyond the grave.
i have no doubt.




Monday, February 1, 2010




leaves

i might not be coming home this week or next
'cause all the trains have left
and i'm afraid i'm penniless
so hold this letter to your chest
and tell my brothers i'll see them when
flowers die and winter frost
clings gently to the morning ties
that holds the leaves up in old tree
who grows and blinks and falls and dies
and whispers to your fragile eyes
"we're missing someone here today;
i'd like to see him
before i go away."


Sunday, January 31, 2010

on digging graves:



i'm terribly sorry

but i'm fresh out of marble.






Thursday, January 28, 2010




this fire's been drinking and driving

Friday, January 15, 2010

summer 2009

you hate having your picture taken
and i like that about you
so i'll bring the camera
and we'll develop our tragedies together
in a dark room we call 'the last seven years'

laced with innocent nights spent on your bed
and arguments some serious, some less severe,
these prints will show your eyes and nose
so hardly insincere.

let's go back to that place once more
where we used to take time while
your mother patched my clothes and we
made hours last doing only Lord knows.

black and white semi shiny squares
depressing and somber and grayish in tone-
i'll snap some keepsakes of us together
before we both die alone.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

tom loves life
august, 2006
forest lake, minnesota